Remember! Whatever one achieves in life is directly proportional to one's attitude. Life returns to what one does.
Everyone knows about Isaac Newton. He was an absolute genius. He changed Physics with his laws forever. But despite being a brilliant brain, he never understood human nature. He often misjudged human nature. Therefore, this is what he said about human nature, "I can calculate the motion of the heavenly bodies but not the madness of people." Human is the most complex creature. Human nature is entirely different from all other living creatures because human is the only creature who has a lethal combination of wisdom and emotions.
One who understands human nature has a better chance of success, but how to understand human nature is a million-dollar question. This question has so brilliantly been answered in the book "The Laws of Human Nature" written by Robert Greene that will blow your mind. Robert Greene is also the best-selling author of "The 48 Laws of Power". But his book "The Laws of Human Nature" goes far beyond "The 48 Laws of Power". Therefore, everyone must read it. It will give you such an understanding of human psychology and nature that you will cherish it all your life.
Robert Greene has given 18 laws of human nature in the book, but all the laws are equally significant.
1. Law of Irrationality: We think today's modern human beings are clever, intelligent, and rational and make decisions based on wisdom, not emotions. But in reality, we make decisions based on emotions, not on rationality, and that's why most of our decisions are incorrect. Thousands of years ago, there was a famous statesman in Athens called Pericles. He used to spend time alone before making important decisions. After evaluating the consequences, he always made the best decision in the interest of the common masses. Therefore, people absolutely loved him. We can learn a lot from the passion capital of Pericles. This is easy to say, but applying practically is a challenge. Thinking objectively about any of the issues one will face problems, and these problems are called bias.
Bias is such a thought that has no logic or reason, and these biases are driven by our emotions and cognitive processes. There are dozens of biases in psychology, like confirmation bias, conviction bias, group bias, appearance bias, superiority bias, blame bias, and so on. To make a sound and strong decision, one must know these biases to avoid falling into their trap.
Confirmation Bias: Whenever we decide whether in our professional, or personal life, we search for evidence to make the best decision possible. But interestingly, we only search for the evidence that confirms our current belief. We wish the belief that lives in our minds should be acknowledged which takes us away from the truth. Therefore, we tend to shun the reality. Thus to avoid confirmation bias, search for evidence is entirely different from your existing belief. Be as skeptical as you can.
Conviction Bias: To a great extent, it is a self-explanatory bias. Conviction bias happens when you think, "I believe in this idea so strongly, it must be true". Your conviction about the idea is so strong that you null and void the rest of the factors. Usually, when a political or religious leader talks to us with strong conviction and full authority with heated words and gestures, it seems to us whatever he says is 100% correct. But this is not always true. Therefore, one must always be careful.
Appearance Bias: According to this bias, people are judged based on their outward appearance. But appearances can be really misleading. This is called the "Halo Effect" in the language of Psychology. The "Halo Effect" is when one trait of a person or thing is used to make an overall judgment of that person or thing. We often assume that good-looking people are also kind and trustworthy, but this is not always true. This happens because we tend to fall for appearances. We judge people based on their physical and superficial appearance. We tend to judge someone's inner qualities based on their outward appearance. Let's remember that true beauty lies within. Therefore, it is essential to strive to understand individuals at a deeper level.
Group Bias: We do whatever the group endorses. This is also called band within effect. We are social animals. Therefore, we don't like isolation and to belong to a group, we adopt its ideology which is also called group thinking. On many occasions, our thoughts are different from those of the group, but we fear if we voice our point of view, then we might be ostracized. Therefore, we become the victims of this fear and calmly turn our heads in the direction where the group is headed.
Blame Bias: We often believe that we learn from our mistakes, but in reality, we tend to avoid or escape from them. Because it is too painful to look at our mistakes, and if a mistake occurs, we blame someone else for it. This is called self-serving bias in psychology. There is a saying, "Success has many fathers, while failure is an orphan".
Superiority Bias: Because of this bias, we think we are superior, decent, rational, and intelligent to others, but in reality, this is not so. We ignore our mistakes and shortcomings which is the recipe for disaster. We have to create a balance between our emotions and rationality.
2. Law of Narcissism: "Narcissism" is a unique world of the English language that means self-love. Narcissist needs more praise, validation, and appreciation. Such people have the desire to be appreciated regularly. One should praise their hair, clothes, selfies, and gestures. Standing in front of a mirror and looking and praising themselves for hours. These are mild symptoms of narcissism. Instagram is full of such a kind of personality disorder. But in reality, everyone is a narcissist at his own level. However, there is such a dangerous narcissism called Deep Narcissism. It is dangerous because, within two to five years, it makes its position in our personality. This is the age when for the first time a child comes out of his mother's lap and tries to discover his self-image. Parents should appreciate their child and give him time and attention at this age. This develops his positive self-image. Otherwise, his self-image will be distorted, and right from this point, deep narcissism begins. Usually, parents of such children are self-narcissists and snub their personalities while trying to control them. Such children develop strange personalities when they grow. Children with this personality type need constant exposure to new people, environments, praise, appreciation, and attention. Conversely, introverted children of this type often seem detached or lost in their own world. They may also feel superior or isolated, and many are at risk of developing drug addiction. Deep narcissists can be identified by their behavior. They become furious with rage if you challenge them. They are over-sensitive and usually consider themselves correct. In relation, deep narcissists view their partner as their extension and try to isolate their partners for better control. Our goal must be to invert narcissism into empathy, but what is empathy? Empathy means understanding and sharing others' feelings. So that you can understand the situation of other people. You should know what are their feelings and frustrations. Be attentive to their needs and be a good listener. This will work wonders for you. If you develop these habits, you begin to understand the beauty of humanity.
3. Law of Role Playing: People indeed wear masks in daily life. This mask is worn to hide the real personality. Every person wants to look confident, intelligent, diligent, and attractive. Therefore, every person tries hard to hide jealousy, insecurity, and envy. If the fake identity of someone is accepted as real, his true feelings will never be known. Fortunately, there are some cracks in this mask. Because of these cracks, people often express their real feelings, sentiments, and unconscious desires through body language or non-verbal cues unintentionally. Now, you must master this language to become an expert in reading people. People fall for appearances. Therefore, you can also fool people with your appearance to play with their emotions and perceptions. You can do your role-playing and do it to favor your cause.
4. Law of Compulsive Behaviour: According to this law, we should measure the strength of people's character. Because character is the thing that one never loses. You will know if a person has a loose character or a deep character in due course of time. Therefore, if you want to know the real behavior of people, then try to know their true character. This will give you insights into their personalities that nothing else can give you. If you want to judge the character of someone, then note how he reacts in the time of adversity. People of strong character always face hardships with responsibility. This is a sign of strength. However, on the other side, there will be toxic people whose responses will be entirely opposite. But these toxic people are also of various types.
Initially, you will be impressed by the Hyper Perfectionist's behavior as they strive for excellence in everything they do to maintain the highest standard. But with time, you will discover that the story is different. They are perfectionists because they don't know how to delegate. They trust no one. Therefore, always watch these sorts of individuals and deal with them accordingly.
There is another type of toxic people known as Relentless Rebels. Initially, living with such people may seem exciting because they are known for rebelling against authority and going against the system. They also tend to have a great sense of humor due to which people are attracted to them. But, if you scratch the surface, they have insecure personalities under a rebellious nature. These types of people are usually maltreated by parents in their childhood. That's why they tend to hate power and authority. Therefore, be very careful with the rebels you meet in your life.
The Personalizer is another type of toxic people. They are thoughtful and sensitive. They seem intelligent and they are usually good to work with. But with time, it becomes clear that their sensitivity is only for themselves. Their sensitivity is only directed inward. If you did any wrong with them, they will remember it for months and years, and make sure you remember it too. They also present themselves as victims. That's why their personalities eventually become toxic.
Then you will meet some Drama Magnets who always remain busy with it. They possess unusual energy. They have dozens of stories to tell. Their features are very animated. You will enjoy talking to them. But a time comes when their drama becomes ugly, and they show you their real face. This kind of people will ensnare you in their drama in such a way that you will never be able to escape.
Then come the "Big Talkers". These people tend to speak grandiosely, but deep inside personalities, there is no subsist. These people never complete any work and eventually blame others for it.
The Savior is another kind of toxic individual. You believe that, at last, you have discovered the individual you have been searching for. This person will give you acquittal from all your problems but in reality, he will control you. Whenever you try to be independent, he depresses your personality, and he becomes quite aggressive. You think that he is a solution to all your problems but actually, he is the real problem.
You will meet a lot of such toxic people in your life. The primary intention of discussing them is to prevent encountering them. Do not demean or belittle them, but observe them. Be very careful and always tilt to the people of strong character.
5. Law of Covetousness: According to this law, we should make ourselves an object of desire, but how do we achieve it? is a question of concern. If you constantly show up everywhere and every time, you will gradually lose your dignity and value. Make sure to be selective and intentional about where and when you present yourself. That is the reason the big celebrities or stars limit their attendance. They are seen rarely. They create a mystery around them. Therefore, it is essential to use strategic absence to make people desire your return. Conduct yourself in a way that people want to possess you, but never let them know who will possess you. The people must be shown the thing they desire for. They will become your crazy lovers, and you will be a timeless dream for them. Most people indeed live their lives in a narrow timeframe. In the context of time, our emotions tend to be negative as it reminds us of aging and an uncertain future. So, we are petrified of time. We always fall for short-term things which is one of the biggest mistakes in our lives. We never focus on the big picture. Instead of long-term thinking, we focus on low-hanging fruit. Due to this, though we get short-term joy, we never get long-term success.
6. Law of Short-Sightedness: Most of the people lack perseverance. Perseverance is such a superpower that makes you successful in life. If we read the life stories of successful people, we find one common thing in their lives, long-term dedication. This is one of the most essential qualities to differentiate between a champion and a mediocre individual.
7. Law of Defensiveness: When you go to bring about a change in people, people will resist. People usually never like change. They tend to repel people when they try to change them. Now, what to do in such a situation? We commit a mistake when we convince others. We enforce our opinion on them which is absolutely wrong. Because people think their free will is being attacked. They don't feel independent. Focus on people if you want to change them. Give them importance. Listen to them. Make them feel important. Let them do the talking. Do not hesitate to take an inferior position to make the others seem superior. When you will win their trust, they will play in your hands. They will do what you want them to do. French Philosopher Jean De La Bruyere has said a wonderful thing about the conversation with the people, "The true spirit of conversation consists more in bringing out the cleverness of others than in showing a great deal of it yourself: he who goes away pleased with himself and his own wit is also pleased with you. Most men seek less to be instructed, and even to be amused, than to be praised and applauded". How to persuade people is a big question. For it, there are five strategies:-
First, you have to develop yourself as an expert listener. There is a reason why we have been given one tongue and two ears. Remember, everyone loves to be heard, and if you become that listener, this listening power will make you an expert persuader. The second strategy is infecting people with good mood. The mood of the people should be good after meeting you. You should radiate positive vibes because of which people will be eager to meet you. The third strategy is to confirm their self-opinion. Make people the center of attraction rather than you becoming yourself. Give them autonomy and win them with your goodness. The fourth strategy is to allay the insecurities of people. Every person is insecure somehow concerning looks, creative power, masculinity, power status, uniqueness or popularity, etc. You must protect them from such kinds of insecurities. The fifth strategy is to use people's resistance and stubbornness in your favor. There may be some individuals in your life who are headstrong. They may be more resistant to change. They often do the opposite of what people say to them. First, they will ask for advice. Then, they will point out dozens of flaws in your advice. You should play mental judo with such kinds of people. Use their emotions, their language, and their rigidity in your favor. If you tell him what he is doing is right, he will go the opposite way. Because you have advised him and with the advice, he never agrees as he is a rebellious soul.
8. The Law of Self-Sabotage: Every person has a different ideology to view the world. This ideology can build or destroy our lives. Remember, attitude is directly proportional to achievement. Therefore, what you achieve in life is the result of your attitude. Life returns exactly what your attitude is. Being a pessimist can lead to negative outcomes, but if you are an optimist and always look at the brighter side of a thing, things will always fall in place for you. Therefore, it's important to remember that your attitude can have a significant impact on your personal growth. Don't let a negative attitude sabotage your progress. Explore the limit of your willpower, and you will be surprised how far your willpower will take you in life. A negative and toxic person not only harms himself but also those around him. A negative person also has a negative influence over his team.
There are a lot of categories of negative people. Some have hostile attitudes. Such people spread hatred all around. Some have anxious attitudes. These individuals tend to focus on problems in every aspect of their lives. They are always suffering from excusitis. Some people have avoidant attitudes. Such kind of people hesitate to take responsibility. Some people have a depressive attitude. These people always remain anxious even on the most joyous occasions.
Arthur Schopenhauer has said beautifully, "This is why the same external events or circumstances affect no two people alike; even with perfectly similar surroundings, everyone lives in a world of his own. The world in which a man lives shapes itself chiefly by the way in which he looks at it, and so it proves different to different men. To one it is barren, dull, and superficial: to another rich, interesting, and full of meaning. On hearing of the interesting events that have happened in the course of man's experience, many people will wish that similar things had happened in their lives too, completely forgetting that they should be envious rather of the mental aptitude which lent those events the significance they possess when he describes them". Remember, your thoughts become things.